Tomash's Journey: How He Stopped Resisting Life and Finally Found Freedom — Without Changing a Single Thing Outside of Him

By Martina

I need to tell you about what happened when we sat down to record Episode 11 on this random quiet street near Nha Trang, Vietnam with no plan, sweaty as hell, and a security guard who showed up at some point.

Because what started coming out of Tomash — my boyfriend of 6 years, the most calm, structured, "I need three bullet points" human I know — was something I had genuinely never heard him say out loud before, and I've been with this man 24/7 for SIX YEARS so I thought I'd heard everything.

I HADN'T.

The Dream He Chased for a Decade

Let me paint you a picture of Tomash at 18: high school is ending, everyone around him is picking careers and choosing universities, and Tomash is sitting there thinking… "ehm, none of this feels right?! I don't want to wear a suit, I don't want a morning alarm, I don't want someone telling me where to be and when."

What he wanted was freedom , and in his mind — like in most of our minds — freedom had a very clear price tag: freedom = money, and if you have enough money you can go to warm places in winter, you can work from wherever, you can say no to things, you can just… breathe.

So he started chasing it—university, moving to Prague, summers working in restaurants in the US (bartending, having the time of his life, making more money than he knew what to do with), coming back to Slovakia with enough to survive the whole year, learning online business, Amazon, courses, failed attempts, more learning, five years of just building and figuring it out and getting closer.

And then he met me.
And then we built Magnetic Couples Bracelets in 17 days.
And then the money started coming in. A lot of it.
And then we moved to Bali.
And then he had everything he wanted: ocean view villa ✅, business making real money ✅, no morning alarm ✅, warm weather 365 days a year ✅, freedom ✅, each other ✅.

...right?

Getting Everything You Wanted and Still Feeling Empty

Here's the part nobody talks about: you work toward something for years, you sacrifice and learn and push, and then you get there and instead of feeling the freedom you imagined you feel… fear creeps in. Fear that you'll lose it, the wanting more, the "okay but what's NEXT," the realization that the goal line just quietly moved while you were celebrating.

That's what happened to Tomash in Bali—he had everything on the list and immediately he wanted more: more freedom, more money, more stability, more certainty that this wouldn't all disappear.. And so the chase started again. And harder this time, more desperate because now he knew what it felt like to have it and losing it felt unbearable.

So for three years after that we pushed. We tried to scale the business, we invested in marketing, we did everything right (I mean everything the playbooks say to do) and slowly, quietly, it ALL STOPPED WORKING.

Less money, more stress, more resistance, more of that horrible feeling where you're doing everything and NOTHINGGG is moving.

I remember those years. They were really, really hard—not just for the business but for US TWO, for our relationship, for how we felt about ourselves... it was like running in sand and wondering why you're not going faster.

The Moment Everything Shifted (And It Involved Me Spilling Fries Everywhere)

OK so you need to know something about me: I break things, I drop things, I spill things—it's not intentional, it's just… a gift I have 😂

And for YEARS this was a trigger for Tomash. Not in a yelling way (he's not that guy) but you know that look, that quiet energy shift, that almost-imperceptible exhale of "omfg again"? Yeah, I knew it well.

So we're sitting at a restaurant for my birthday lunch and I manage — in what I think was one of my greatest achievements — to spill the salad AND the fries, like a significant portion of both, all over the table. And Tomash? He felt… NOTHING. No frustration, no quiet disappointment, no energy shift, just peace.

He even surprised himself, and a few minutes later I did something else clumsy and again — nothing, just calm. And in that moment sitting at a table covered in my spilled lunch he realized: DUDE. THIS is what freedom ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE!!!

Not the villa, not the money, not the warm weather—THIS!!! Being okay with what is, not resisting it, not wishing it were different, not feeling like something is wrong because the fries are on the table instead of in the bowl. Lol.

Inner peace - that's the thing. That's the whole thing!!!

The Real Definition of Freedom (That Nobody Told Us)

Here's what Tomash figured out after a decade of chasing: he didn't actually want freedom, he wanted to stop resisting what he already had.

Every time he looked at a warm country and felt frustrated that he wasn't there — that wasn't a sign he needed more money.

That was resistance - he was resisting the cold, resisting his current situation, and he thought that if he could just BUY his way out of that feeling it would go away.

And for a while it did, until new resistance showed up, because resistance doesn't disappear when your circumstances change—it just finds a new thing to attach itself to.

The only way out — the only ACTUAL way out — is inward: when you stop resisting what is, when you're okay with where you are, what you have, who you are RIGHT NOW... That's TURE freedom. And you cannot buy it. You cannot hustle your way to it. You cannot move countries to find it—it's either inside you or it isn't.

And the wildest part? The moment you stop chasing it so desperately.. Things often start to change anyway because you finally got out of your own way.

Just Bungee Jump

At some point in the episode Tomash used a metaphor that I haven't been able to stop thinking about since—he talked about bungee jumping (and I say "you" loosely because I was literally thrown off a swing on my birthday, I did not technically jump 😂).

When you're bungee jumping there is a moment where you are just flying and there is absolutely nothing you can do—you cannot decide which way to go, you cannot control the speed, you cannot negotiate with gravity, you are just THERE. Completely surrendered to the experience.

And he said: that's what moving through resistance actually looks like: you don't fight it, you don't analyze it for months, you don't buy a course about it.. you just bungee jump into the feeling. You let it move through you, you stop white-knuckling the direction.

That's the whole practice. Just freaking bungee jump.

Why I'm Telling You All This

Because I think most of us are chasing some version of Tomash's freedom dream—maybe for you it's money, maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's a body, maybe it's a business, maybe it's moving to a different city, a different country, a different life.

And maybe — just maybe — what you're actually doing is running from something that makes you uncomfortable right now.

Not because the dream is wrong,, but because no external thing has ever permanently fixed an internal feeling - we just think it will. Over and over & over again, until one day... covered in spilled fries in a restaurant in Vietnam.. we realize it WON'T.

And THAT realization? That's where the true freedom actually starts.

Listen to the Full Episode

We recorded all of this on a street in Nha Trang, Vietnam with zero plan and a security guard watching us, and it's one of my favourite episodes we've ever made because Tomash opened up in a way that genuinely surprised both of us.

🎧 Listen to Episode 11 of What Is Life here: Spotify, Apple Podcasts or YouTube.
📸 Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/martinaandtomash/

And If This Hit a Little Too Close to Home…

We have a community called The Fuck It Club for exactly this—it's for people who are done trying to fix themselves, heal themselves, improve themselves into someone more acceptable, people who are ready to stop self-improving and start actually LIVING.

Because nothing's wrong with you. Never was.

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This is life: chasing, losing, stopping, accepting, and somehow finding everything you needed right where you already were. 🎢

— Martina